How shifting your focus from performance to perspective changes everything.
Every time I’m about to speak, whether it’s to students, executives, or clients, my mind starts thinking:
Speak well. Look confident. Impress.
But the truth is, the moment you step on stage thinking about yourself, you’ve already lost half the room.
Great speakers don’t perform. They observe. They read the room the way a spy reads a situation, scanning for emotion, energy, and intent while making eye contact with the audience.
They don’t ask, “How am I doing?” They ask, “What are they feeling?”
The Spy Mindset
You might have seen former CIA officer Andrew Bustamante on The Diary of a CEO or the Lex Fridman Podcast. In one of his interviews, he said something that stayed with me.
He drew the difference between perception and perspective.
Perception is how we see the world based on our experiences and feelings. It’s unique to each person, so people often disagree when trying to convince others of their views.
On the other hand, perspective is the ability to understand a situation from another person’s point of view. It involves stepping into their shoes and seeing the world as they do.
That one line captures the shift every speaker needs.
When you walk into a room worrying about perception, you focus on performance your delivery, your image, your lines. But when you walk in with perspective, you focus on the audience their hopes, doubts, and what they truly need from you.
That’s when you stop performing and start connecting. It also takes a bit of pressure off you!
The Business School Moment
A few weeks ago, I was invited again to speak at a business school where I’ve presented before, but the market conditions had changed, and so had the students’ expectations. They were entering a very different world, one with more uncertainty and fewer guarantees.
I realized I didn’t actually know what they were feeling. My contact and I decided to send a quick survey with two short questions:
How confident are you about your career prospects? What would you like to learn from this session?
The answers were straightforward, even raw, and they completely changed how I prepared.
I replaced some slides, made a few phone calls to senior contacts to validate what I was seeing in the market, and aligned my content to reality.
That one act of curiosity shifted the energy of the entire session.
The Executive Talk
My next talk is with an executive cohort at another business school. Same approach. I’ve asked for feedback from the last session and for a list of their most common questions. Those two steps already tell me what tone, pace, and content will resonate.
If you’ve never done this before, it’s simple:
Prepare by understanding who they are.
Plan by identifying what they need.
Practice until you can stop thinking about yourself.
You’ll feel calmer because your focus is on them, not you.
The Learning
The best speakers are not performers, they are curious spies. They gather intelligence before the mission.
They listen before they speak.
If you can learn to think like a spy on stage staying curious, alert, emotionally attuned. You’ll never lose a room again. Because people don’t remember the most polished speaker. They remember the one who made them feel understood.
Free Resource
If you would like to prepare for your next talk the same way, I have created a one page tool called The Speaker’s Spy Sheet.
Send an email to he***@***********ni.com with Subject as Spy and I will share it with you.
